The Steve's "Dad" story

So I mentioned many blogs ago that I would one day tell the story on Steve's dad. So I will do a brief version..

They don't speak and haven't for probably 2 1/2 years. Steve has always had resentment in the way he was raised and treated by him. He was/is a very controlling man. There are stories I have heard that from Steve and his mom. It was hard to have fun and joke around in their home. Steve was on a very short leash. As he has grown up into adulthood it continued. Probably the most unbelievable thing I witnessed was when Steve went out and bought his first car on his own without help from his parents. He traded in his truck and bought a 1994 Eagle Talon. He was 23 years old. His dad was pissed that he didn't ask him for help. That Steve wouldn't take what help was offered in helping him sell his truck privately. I remember being on the phone months later with is Dad pretty much trying to talk him out of writing Steve out of his life. Telling him how stupid it was to lose a son over a car. Let the boy be a man and take care of his own affairs. That kind of stuff.

He hasn't seen Peyton but 2 times, the last time being when she was about 6 weeks old. I later find out that from that visit he was upset because Peyton wouldn't wake up for us to take a family picture. He was going to sit there with the camera set up and have us sit in the same chair until she woke up. She was 6 weeks old and up all night and sleeping all day. It wasn't going to happen. We just wanted the picture taken with her asleep. Nonetheless, he didn't get the picture he wanted. And then got upset that we didn't ask him to take the family pictures we took of us and my sisters families. Kevin's dad took them. It came to a head when he said he was upset that we never ask him to stay at our house when he comes in town. By the way, he used to be a wedding photographer and lives in Orange, TX. It never came up before..we just figured that he and his girlfriend prefered a hotel. Plus, we have had so many people in and out of here staying with us, we don't really ask people to come stay with us anymore. He found out that Steve's Mom had stayed with us on a trip here when they lived in Amarillo. That really made him mad. We also found out 10 years later that he was upset that at my wedding when he was dancing with me, Steve cut in. Just total ridiculous stuff. All of this controling stuff was confirmed by one of his x-girlfriends that went on a cruise with us and his dad. She told us, "watch your children with your dad. He has your number and knows that you are the last person he can control and takes pride in it." She broke up with him the day after the cruise. ha

That stuck in our head for several years after. And it just all blew up one day. Everything and the kitchen sink came out. Steve never has even remotely crossed his dad or spoken to him in a raised voice. He was taught not to. It was a house where you didn't speak your mind at all. His word was the final word. After they had it out, I really tried to get them to talk it out, explained what Steve's feelings were and told him that if he wants a relationship with his son, he is going to have to make the next step with him by calling him and working it out because Steve wasn't going to make the effort anymore. Instead, a month or so later he emailed me and told me to send him the copy of the Will we had for him. He was changing the beneficiary from Steve to his girlfriend. Because if something were to happen to him, after the way Steve has spoken about him he would be afraid what he would do with him after he is dead. And he would doubt that we would even care enough to show to a funeral. And that he did. Wrote Steve, Peyton and I out of his life. I was so offended, that I told him I have been trying for months to try to work things out between steve and him, and he has now insulted not only Steve, but our family as a whole, and I will not tolerate it. I told him that I, too, would not be contacting him anymore either. He didn't send Peyton anything for her first birthday, first Christmas...Easter....nothing! He couldn't care less about his son, me or Peyton. I tried for months after Steve and he stopped talking. I would send pictures of Peyton and updates and such, just so he would know something about his granddaugher. It just took me longer than Steve to realize he couldn't give a crap.

Steve doesn't even think twice about him. I ask him sometimes if he ever thinks about wanting to work things out with him. He tells me I will never understand how far done he is with it. He has no remorse and also wants nothing to do with him after the things he did and said. Let alone all the things he had to put up with growing up.

As hard headed as both of these men are. I am pretty positive they will never speak again. It's sad. I don't understand it. Our family has our issues, but we would never not speak for any extended period of time. I didn't live his childhood though, so I can't judge. But it's just sad to me that Peyton will not know Steve's dad. It's sad and baffeling to me how he could not love her. How he could just aboslutely pretend like he doesn't have a beautiful 3 year old granddaugher. I send a christmas card every year that has our picture on it, but that's the only time he ever sees a picture of Peyton. His girlfriend sends us a card at Christmas, but he doesn't.

He is a miserable man. He has some issues with himself, obviously. But the best thing I got from him, is his son. And now Peyton that his son gave me. So thank you, Snider. You don't have any idea what your missing. Nothing but love, peace and happiness. Maybe someday he will find those things for himself.

So there ya go....night.